This has been kind of a rough week all around:

  • First & foremost, my boyfriend & I have both quit smoking. So right now, we hate everything.  I honestly think the reason we both KEPT smoking as long as we did was not because we really enjoyed smoking, but because we didn’t want to alienate everyone we’d ever come into contact with.  Take my word for it, we’re not pleasant to be around right now.

(more whining behind the jump)

  • I think we’ve both made the decision to stop doing 25s – possibly for good, possibly just until we see some change. I had promised myself that if I ever got the point that raiding was making me rage-y enough that it felt unhealthy, I would stop. I’ve been there for a couple of weeks now – I kept saying “Oh, that was something that won’t happen again”, but yeah. I’m sure part of it is my bias – I’ve never enjoyed the 25 man raids even when things were running more pleasantly than they have been as of late. But … I like my guild. I like most of the people in my guild. I don’t like our raids.
  • Maybe I’m just bitter right now (or hating everything – see the first point above), but I’m really angry about the fact that people I enjoyed playing with, that I put a lot of time and energy into making things fun for, couldn’t be arsed to even send me an in-game mail before they server transferred. This was a little easier to take when I thought they cut all ties, but knowing that he’s still tweeting with his former guidies … hurts a little. Yay for getting burned socially yet again. Because my social anxiety isn’t bad enough, amirite? It all just makes me wonder why I try.
  • My boyfriend & yet another guild mate got into it hardcore today, resulting in him (my boyfriend, not the guildmate) leaving the guild on the alt he’s currently playing. Now I’m at the point where I’m reconsidering doing ANYTHING more complex than a 5 man with anyone in my guild until we’re both on a more even keel. Because although most people have been great and forgiving of us being less patient and more … brusque than normal, sometimes I swear people just dive right in and try to push buttons intentionally. Usually, it works; we rise to the bait even when there AREN’T extenuating circumstances. I’m not going to speak to who is wrong or right because there’s totally shades of gray all over the place. But yeah, this coming on the heels of even more interpersonal drama really rubs me the wrong way & is starting to make me wonder if I made yet another bad choice.
  • File this under things that piss me off: No one can ever agree to disagree. No one has an opinion about WoW. Everything is fact because someone says so. Because of this, someone always has to be right, and someone always has to be wrong. GOD FORBID WE DISCUSS THINGS LIKE ADULTS. Yes, there are facts in WoW – how much hit rating you need to hitcap, for example. However, whether a piece of gear is worth farming an instance for? OPINION. Whether one spec is more fun than another? OPINION. Look it up. Wait, no. I’ll look it up for you.
  • Really – this isn’t about WoW. This isn’t about my guild or raiding or the way it’s run. It’s about respect, or the lack of respect, and the fact that I invest myself in people and things, and it seems like oh so many don’t. If you can’t see the person, or touch them, they’re not real. They don’t have feelings. So it isn’t necessary to think about how your words effect others – your guildies are all just AI bots there for your entertainment, edification, and to make sure you get to do fun stuff that you can’t solo. Do people really think that? Or do they just not think?

Am I really in the minority because I value the friendships I make in a video game?  Or is it just that I try too hard so people think they can treat me however they like & I won’t get upset?

ETA: I have a lot of guildies who I don’t feel this way about at all. But the people to whom this post applies are doing a really stellar job of ruining my WoW experience lately.  I cannot wrap my brain around the selfish, I just can’t. If you want to discuss this with me, I can be reached at somuchwow AT gmail DOT com.