… a blog that hasn’t been updated in almost a year.  /sigh
Ok, so, clearly, much has happened in that amount of time, so gimme a few days (read: at least a week) to get the front page all rearranged and settled, and let’s see if we can get this boat back on the water. Or something.

Mostly cut-n-pasted from our recruitment officer:

Stands in Bad is looking for more raiders of all flavors!

Azgalor is a CST PvP server, and our primary raid is a 10-man from 7-10 CST on Wednesdays and Thursdays.

We’re currently 4/7 in Firelands, and we finished up normal-mode tier 11 before the nerf. We’re a level 25 guild that’s been around for over a year (and we have a tabard and bank tabs, zomg!) We have no intentions of ever going to 25 mans, but we’ve been known to run a second concurrent raid group when membership has allowed for it.

We don’t have a set roster and we don’t have an attendance requirement, but we do have a very fair rotation for sign-ups, so if you want to raid and put forth the effort on your part, you’ll get a chance to (usually 2 out of 3 weeks that you sign up).

We are a casual guild in the sense of not wanting to spend all of our time raiding, and we understand that real life comes first, but we roll up our sleeves and get stuff done when we raid. We’re a relatively adult guild and we don’t like drama, although we do have our moments of less-than-mature commentary in guild chat and vent (sometimes we’re just a bunch of pervs, but we have fun!). ^^

We are more concerned about personalities fitting in than we are about how long you’ve been raiding or what you’ve cleared, and we welcome interested potential recruits to roll an alt on Azgalor and hang out with us in guild chat. That being said, we do expect our raiders to put for the effort on their part to make sure we aren’t wasting time in raids (gems, enchants, reps, etc.). We aren’t looking to carry anyone, but we are looking for anyone looking for a fun guild home with an interest in raiding.

We are:
Alt-friendly. Many of us have multiple max level toons, and some of us even play on multiple servers. We won’t be butthurt if you don’t bring your main over!
Couples-friendly. Our RL is amazing at slotting couples together whenever he can.
Estrogen-heavy. Many times, our raid group is more girls than guys!
Blogger-friendly. Our GM is the main writer over at I Like Bubbles, and we have about half a dozen of us who WoW-blog when we feel like it. :)
Achievement-oriented. If you hate seeing “So and So just earned the achievement “BLAHBLAHBLAH”” in your green chat, we might not be the guild for you.

Please be aware that SiB does not consider itself a “safe space”. I know that this is important to a lot of people, but while we do our best to take the feelings of others into account, sometimes we say appalling things. I like to think it’s part of our charm.

At the moment, we would especially love another tank, and we don’t believe that raiding mages, boomkin, or priests exist. (Any interested shammies can respec to enhance. <3) The only thing I think I’d say we’re full up on is Holy Paladins, but the right person might persuade us otherwise!

Even if you’re not a raider now, but think you might wanna be someday, or if raiding just isn’t your thing, feel free to come spend some time with us. We love new peoples.

Guys, I know, I haven’t blogged in FOREVER.  So, instead of a deep, interesting, thought-provoking entry*, you get bullet-points. Sorry.

  • OMG Firelands dailies are full of suck. They are more full of suck on a PvP server, which Azgalor happens to be.  They are even MORE full of suck because the druids that accompany you to Setheria’s Roost are DUMB AS A BOX OF ROCKS and will pull shit (and attack opposite faction players) that you had NO DESIRE to attack. I’ve certainly rage-logged in the middle of trying to get this shit done more than once since it was released.
  • SiB is 3/7 Firelands. And we’re recruiting!  Come play with us!
  • Max level project is now 60% complete. Myndie, the little dwarf hunter who could, is now 85, geared for troll-roics, and only 3 bosses away from having completed all the T11 raid content. This is the first Azgalor-ian alt I’ve been really excited about since Cataclysm. Marksman huntering is amazingly fun, and I managed to tame Terropene so I have a fire turtle, and yeah. I can see why so many folks have hunter-mains.
  • That said? Shaman don’t have Hunter’s Mark. Pushing the button for Hunter’s Mark while playing Krikket turns me into a puppy. This is not actually doing anything for Krikket’s DPS. I’m just saying.
  • Elemental shaman 2-pc T12 is amazing. It didn’t sound that amazing in theory, and honestly? There are some fights it won’t do me a bit of good on.  But when I see I’m getting approximate 5k DPS from being able to basically have FIRE ELEMENTAL FOREVER? I get pretty damn excited.  Of course, it’d be way better if I could at least control him to the point of saying “YOU MORON! HIT THIS”.  There’s nothing more frustrating than dropping a totem that’s on a 10m cooldown and watching your fire elemental stand in the corner and pick his nose. Especially now that I know how much DPS he can actually do.
  • Krikket’s going to pick up a healing spec again, since the only PvP I’m doing right now is of the “completely involuntary” and “makes me ded quickly” varieties. I’m scared.
  • I think I want to rescue Savillaine from the status of “mostly retired” by faction transferring her.  The biggest problem I’m having with this is that I cannot decide what Alliance race she should be.  I think I have it narrowed down to Night Elf, Worgen, or Draenei. BUT I CAN’T DECIDE.
  • Cross-server LFG is actually the first “premium” feature that Blizzard has released that I think is amazing enough to pay for. Assuming, of course, that they keep the price reasonable. I expect we’re going to splurge on it for at least one of our accounts, if not both of them. I just wish it let you run with your cross-faction friends as well.
  • Because even though it’s been months now? I’m still missing folks from Lunaris. I still have Horde characters, but I just feel too awkward to even log into them.
  • Overall? I’m having fun in 4.2.  There’s so much I want to do, and not enough time to do it all. This is a good thing.

I’m at the 50% mark now with Kordelia the druid hitting 85 earlier today.  I have two of my Wrath toons just hanging out at 80 (that’s the paladin & the warrior), a hunter at 78, a rogue at 74, which leaves only the mage in the category of “not even close”.

But I have a mage! And she’s adorable! And I love her name! And she’ll be leveling with the dynamic duo on Bronzebeard, so it should go quickly.

Meet Merlynne, my latest effort at the last class I have no bloody clue how to play:

I feel like this is getting close to something I can finish*. When I first decided I wanted to do this, it was kind of a lark – something to do when I didn’t know what else to do. Now it’s sort of a matter of principle. I’m playing WoW less than ever, so it is actually a push to make it happen.

 

*Provided of course, that my new baby dwarf hunter in SiB doesn’t make me throw in the towel on my boytroll. I don’t want to. I love my boytroll. But he’s been neglected like whoa for way too long now.

Here’s hoping my days of doing Cho’gall and Al’Akir at three frames per second are (just about) over.

Especially since Cataclysm, leveling in WoW is not hard.  Heirlooms, Looking for Dungeon, and the new streamlined questing experience in the old world have all helped contribute to a smoother, simpler leveling experience.

That said, I am still absolutely appalled by the amount of rude, anti-social, and downright terrible behavior I’m seeing in PuG groups in leveling instances.

Since we are bringing our own tank and healer to every group, we’re only witnessing this behavior from DPS; however, I’m sure that they’re not the only ones guilty of doing things like this – they’re just the only ones I’m seeing.

Things a DPS can do that makes it highly likely I’m going to put them on ignore:

  • Pull extra trash packs, bosses, or wander off by yourself to get killed and then beg for a rez.
  • Roll need on everything – all the boss drops, the greens, the recipes and random gems that drop.
  • Put yourself on follow for me (the healer), and only push buttons when a roll pops up.
  • Complain that we’re not pulling fast enough when I have to sit and drink – this is extra annoying if the only reason I have to sit and drink is because you pulled extra mobs, and although we didn’t die, my mana bar is whimpering a little from the strain.
  • Start escort quests, summon optional bosses, or start events when the rest of the group isn’t ready.

The biggest contributing factor to whether or not I put someone on ignore is attitude, though. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone is new to the game at some point. Everyone facepulls now and then. However, if your response to being called out for your bad behavior in a group is any of the following? You’ve just bought yourself an express ticket to my ignore list.

“lol”

“umad bro?”

“y so serious? it’s just a game”

“i’ll pull if i want to.”

“stop whining and let’s finish this”

For the love of Azeroth, if you’re going to do instances with strangers while you’re leveling (and it’s perfectly viable to not set foot in a single one prior to Cataclysm), act like a human being.  Don’t be that paladin who – when he decided we weren’t pulling fast enough for him – tried half a dozen times to pull enough mobs to wipe us in Dire Maul, and eventually rage quit when he couldn’t.  Don’t be that rogue that needs on everything in the first half of strat, and then does less DPS than the healer on the last boss. Don’t be an egotistical little failmonkey who thinks he or she can solo the content, and resents the presence of others in the group – if you wanna solo something, feel free to do so.

However, if you happen to – just once – be that rogue that zones into an in-progress dungeon and says “OMG, I’m so sorry. I never expected the queue to pop that fast and I still have 2 minutes on rez sickness”? I will keep you consta-HoTted and keep your squishy butt alive until that rez sickness wears off. Gratz on being a respectful human being.

Several weeks ago, after getting seven different classes to level 85 (not including the level 85 Tauren druid he deleted to make room for a Worgen druid), my boyfriend decided to jump on my bandwagon and get every class to 85.  Now, that’s a little irritating, mostly because he’s so much better at it than I am.

When we left Bronzebeard, we left a lot of high level characters behind.  Since three of his characters there were classes that he didn’t yet have at max level, he decided to play around over there in his off-time.  Since then, he’s managed to cap 9 out of 10, and the only reason his paladin hasn’t capped yet is that he’s leveling with my warlock.

Since we were spending so much time over there anyway, we decided to look for a casual guild – people who wouldn’t care if we disappeared every now and then since our mains are on another server.  I decided that this was a good chance to try out the new guild finder tool, and we really lucked out on the very first request sent. Our new guildies – The Aztec Badgers – all seem to be lovely people, and we’re really having an enjoyable time sharing green text & running some instances with them.

Kordelia - rocking heirlooms & a Stormwind tabard. She's already exalted with both Darnassus and Exodar!

Since character slots have been scarce on Azgalor for some time, I thought this would be a good opportunity to humor the boy as well. There’s really nothing he likes better than chain-running 5-mans from the time LFD opens up until he hits level cap.  I am usually not so patient with LFD, but I find it easier to take when I’m healing & when someone I know plays a tank, than at any other time.  Since druid has been one of those classes I’ve been notoriously bad at leveling, and since I’ve not had a lot of success playing a Worgen so far, it seemed like a viable plan all over the place.

We spent a couple weeks grinding out Argent Tournament dailies for painless heirloom access, grabbed a    guildmate from SiB, and created our power-leveling team.  My boyfriend plays a prot warrior, I play a resto druid, and our friend Kat plays a survival hunter. These characters were created on Sunday; they’re already level 43. This is an absolutely ridiculous way to level.

In fact, we’re having so much fun, we’re already planning for a new set (feral druid / healing priest / DPS of Kat’s choice), and trying to get Kat to warm up to the idea of tanking set #3.

This whole experience has really made me want to pursue my “clean re-roll” idea – I don’t know how viable it would be do this on a completely fresh server, with no heirlooms, but I’d like to try it, except this time, with a full 5-person group. Adding two more schedules to the mix would likely make it even slower going because of the extra coordination required, but I think it would be an amazingly fun way to spend some time.

All in all, I think our return to Bronzebeard – even though it’s just part-time, and we’re absolutely sticking with Azgalor and SiB – has been a raging success. Other than my warrior, who I still can’t get excited about, I realize I’ve missed those characters a lot, and although most of our old friends have moved on as well, we’re making new friends and really enjoying the game again.

I am always looking for the next cool thing that won’t break the budget.

Last week, I was lucky enough to become a beta tester for Glitch. Now, I love beating down bosses as much as the next nerdy fangirl, but my first gaming love was the type of game my boyfriend and I call “the build shit/buy shit/sell shit” game. And Glitch totally fits that bill.

In the two days that the most recent beta test was open, I managed to level to 13, rack up a metric fuckton of achievement badges, and buy a little starter house. More than that? I got hooked. I find myself constantly refreshing the beta page, their Facebook page, hell, even their Twitter page (and I hate Twitter with a burning passion) to get a clue as to when they’ll be opening it up for more play.

In fact, I was so busy playing – picking berries, petting pigs, and milking butterflies – that it didn’t occur to me to get any screenshots for you.

Currently, Glitch plans to open sometime this summer as a free-to-play, browser-based MMO, with optional subscriptions & a cash shop, which will open up additional cosmetic choices, but nothing that gives an in-game advantage.  It’s not going to be a WoW-killer – in fact, I’m guessing the target audiences aren’t remotely similar – but I think it’s going to be a lot of fun.

If we’re friends on Facebook, and you’re interested in trying out Glitch, make sure you connect your beta request to your Facebook account. When they took down the server on Saturday, I had four invites remaining & I’m hopeful they’ll reappear when the server goes back up this weekend. I’d love to share the opportunity to play this lovely but odd game with some of you.

On a personal level, the last few weeks have been challenging. We’ve run up against some pretty serious financial issues,  navigated our way through a few difficult inter-personal issues in game, and spent a Friday night at the emergency room due to yet another down-swing in my health.

… That was my first ever “/afk – going to the ER!” …

Unfortunately, my recent health issues have negatively impacted my ability to play WoW, so I’ve been spending a lot less time in game. This is a double-edged sword, because I could also really use the distraction it provides right now. I have the time, what I frequently am lacking is the ability.

We’ve still been raiding Alliance-side fairly regularly – due in part to what seems to be a constant shortage of caster DPS in Stands in Bad – and we’ve been spending what seems like – to me at least – to be a lot of time on PvP.  We’ve been taking groups into battlegrounds on Monday nights, learning the strats and gathering honor for more and more PvP gear in hopes of starting Rated Battlegrounds in the near future.

Maybe I have lower standards, but I don’t feel like elemental PvP is as broken as I’ve been hearing people complain. Maybe that’s because I always have a pocket healer (or two), but I feel pretty effective, both in 2v2 arenas and in battlegrounds.

On our off-nights, we’ve been playing around with low level twinks on Shadow Council (although, the 19s bracket is brutal – or so I hear, I’ve been slacking on my goblin priest), and poking at our abandoned characters on Bronzebeard.  I’ve stalled out on gearing my death knight, and I still haven’t been able to bring myself to level my paladin on Azgalor.

It just doesn’t feel like there’s a lot going on right now, and maybe that’s not a terrible thing.

Honestly, I’m not sure how this one is going to turn out, guys.

PART I:

In April of 2008, I went through one of what is – to me – the defining moments of my life. Exactly what happened is not relevant to this post – all that you really need to know is that I was in a funk I didn’t think there’d be any end to. My friends, who are amazing people all, rallied around me, helped to hold me together, and tried anything and everything they could to pull me out of a really dark and ugly place, psychologically speaking.

Somewhere in all of this, Apple pushed her World of Warcraft disks into my hands. “Install it. It’s pretty. It’ll make you feel better.” I’ll confess here – I sort of laughed at her on the inside. No pretty video game was going to make me feel better! My life was in shambles!

But I did install it. It was pretty. And although it didn’t happen right away? It did make me feel better. Through WoW, I met the one person who I most credit for helping me screw my head back on straight, and although we’re no longer in touch, I’ll forever be grateful to him.  I’ve blogged before how I came to WoW for the distraction of the game, I’ve stayed for the people I’ve come to love and adore.  Apple is a huge part of that.

Except for a brief period where I selfishly decided that I needed faster progression (and oh, god, I was wrong), Apple & I have almost always been in a guild together. We’d meet for coffee, talk about our mutual friends, theorycraft and gossip. Our schedules don’t always mesh, and raid rotations have meant that we don’t get to play together as much as we’d like, but I was ok with that. Chances were good that if we didn’t kill bosses together this week, we’d surely be doing it next week.

There is no longer next week. Our time of playing WoW together is over for the forseeable future. A lot about what’s happened in the past few days has made me very sad, but this, I think, is probably the saddest.

PART II

When things in BoO became untenable for a group of friends that had merged into the guild, they made the decision to stay on server, but faction transfer, and create a new guild. That’s what led to Lunaris in it’s current form.

I can admit now that I was scared. I had trust issues. These were people who’d known each other forever – although they seemed eager for us to join them in their new endeavor, I thought “We’re always going to be outsiders! We don’t have the history! I’m always going to feel like the new kid! I don’t know.”

But – and this is important – these were my boyfriend’s kind of people. They spoke their minds. They accepted each other, flaws and all. No one felt like they had to censor themselves, or be someone they weren’t to keep the peace. It was a guild made up of like-minded individuals who just wanted to have fun, in whatever form that took. He was smitten, and honestly? I can’t blame him. I stuffed all my concerns deep into my Worry Box and jumped in with both feet.

Despite my complete and utter inability to faction change Krikket, I tried to dedicate myself to this guild, this group of folks, these FRIENDS the best way I knew how. I know I wasn’t always successful. I know I was still shy and awkward and sometimes felt unwelcome – through no fault of anyone by myself. I know that I wasn’t always the best guildmate – or the best friend – that I could be, but dear god, I tried.

And I am the first to admit, sometimes? I just did it wrong. Every time I was hurt or angry, I chastised myself for being too sensitive. I bottled things up that I shouldn’t have. I pulled away and hid sometimes, when a conversation would have fixed the problem. Once in awhile? I logged off and cried when someone said something I found particularly hurtful.

I’m bad at confrontation, you guys. I know it doesn’t look like it because there are things that I will fight tooth and nail for. I just tend not to be one of those things.

Every guild I have ever been in has had good things and bad things about it. By far, the best thing about Lunaris was the people, the friendship, the camaraderie that they all shared, even if I never let myself fully be a part of it. I was still – and if I’m completely honest, still am – stinging from the realization that not everyone I trust and care for will feel the same way, and I was scared to trust again in the same way.

But my boyfriend? Was completely and utterly at home. It was his little piece of Paradise in Azeroth. This is not to say that there weren’t conflicts and issues, but we worked through it. This guild was all about people and friendships.

Suddenly, that’s all gone. And I know that he’s blaming himself, and in a lot of ways, I’m blaming myself too – even though I was only tangentially involved with the incident that led to us no longer being welcome there. But maybe if I had been less afraid to truly immerse myself, it wouldn’t have happened the way it did.

Or maybe it would have, and I’d be feeling even worse than I do right now. It’s hard to say.

PART III

Sarcasm doesn’t always translate well to text. In the hands of a very skilled writer, with time and distance and revision? Sure. When one is upset or angry? The words don’t always get read the way the writer intended.

One of the best things I have learned due to my interactions with others in WoW is that sometimes, you need to say exactly what you mean to have any hope of the other person understanding where you’re coming from. After a particularly nasty disagreement – one that I can no longer even remember the content of – the conclusion was reached by all parties involved that it all could have been a lot less ugly & hurtful if any of us had said “I cannot have this conversation right now. I want to hear what you have to say, and I want to resolve this, but this is a bad time. Can we take a break and come back to this later?”

Because – as involved as we all get in this game, and in the friendships we make here – sometimes? There’s just too much other stuff trampling all over our brain-space. We are all human, and therefore susceptible to a million little distractions that make us not the best friends, or even the best people, we are capable of being. And when we all start throwing up walls, we make it that much harder for anyone else to ever really reach us. Not just today. Ever.

I am immensely guilty of this. I am a builder. I need a space just for me where I can hide when I’m sad, or hopeless, or hurting. It wasn’t always that way – something broke in me when someone I loved and respected told me that I was just far too depressing to be around. I had exposed myself fully – something I don’t know that I’ve done since, outside of my current relationship – and was rejected in an exceptionally painful way. So I often keep myself to myself. It’s less scary.

And sometimes? You need space, or time, or distance, or a few minutes to hide in the bathroom and sob like your heart is broken. I beg of everyone that reads this – if you care about the person who is trying to convey to you that you’ve upset them, and you need to take a step back, tell him or her as clearly as you possibly can that you just need a break. You value that person, and you want to hear what they have to say, but something is keeping you from being a good listener and a good friend, and you know that that’s unfair. Value your friends, value their feelings and opinions, and commit yourself to being present whenever you can. If you can’t right now? Commit yourself to communicating that as clearly as possible. It might be hard at first, but it’ll be better in the long run.

I don’t know much, but that? That’s something I’m sure of.

PART IV

I am 32 years old. In that time, I’ve left schools and jobs and social clubs. I’ve ended relationships and friendships irrevocably, and I’ve had people end things with me in much the same way. More often than not, friendships have just petered out due to my completely and utter failure at keeping in touch. I know myself well enough to understand that’s a big flaw that I’m forever and always working on in myself.

Honestly? I cried a little bit yesterday when I said goodbye to Barbi, Sammy, Jim, Juan, and Joe. We all said happy things and promised to keep in touch, but I know it’s not likely. I know I’m bad at it. I know all the best intentions and good feelings in the world don’t always matter when circumstances are such that you just don’t share the same virtual space anymore.

I miss my friends, you guys. And I know how emo and childish it sounds. And I am angry and bitter and resentful that my ability to share green chat with these people who have become so important to me was taken away from me due to bad communication. Knowing that some people really believe that the best thing for this group, this little family-of-choice, was for me to no longer be a part of it is devastating.

PART V

This is the last part. Thank you to everyone who has stayed with me so far.

I didn’t intend for this to be initially part of this post. It kind of doesn’t fit here because it’s not about Lunaris and the friends I’ve made there. It’s really about SiB. But the more I talk about Lunaris, the more I’m reminded of this, and I feel like it needs to be here too.

When I was removed from Brotherhood of Oblivion, it was done in much the same way that my removal from Lunaris was. There was no warning. There was no note explaining the reasons the decision was made. It was just done, and I got quite a shock when I logged in.

Now, Brotherhood of Oblivion was a bad fit for me personally. I was not afraid to speak up there when I saw something that I felt was blatantly wrong happening. I was the proverbial squeaky wheel. If I am completely honest with myself, I was not happy in that guild in any way, but I had become close with a handful of people (and dragged poor Apple into that clusterfuck), so I felt like I needed to stay and try to effect change.

Needless to say – I was not successful.

But two important things came out of that, for me. First and foremost, through a couple of days of very painful, very honest conversation, two people who very firmly believed that they were right put a lot of time and effort into seeing the other person’s side of the story. In the end, we were both able to admit what we had done, said, and thought that was just plain wrong and hurtful, and we learned important things about ourselves and each other, and how we all relate in this crazy world. To this day, Math and I use each other to sound out our sometimes crazy, sometimes selfish, sometimes REALLY DAMN GOOD ideas, because we get it. We know how to talk. We know – to an extent – how to read the things that aren’t expressed well because we understand the author. We help each other to know our audience.

We’ve never met in person. We’ve never had a telephone conversation. We text, and email, and chat. This is a solid basis for a friendship, and I value having Math in my guild, and in my life. He’s good people.

Now, please don’t take this praise of one person as me overlooking everyone else. There were a lot of interpersonal difficulties for many of us in the transition from BoO to SiB. A lot of difficult conversations needed to take place to make it a comfortable place for everyone, and I appreciate everyone who took part in that, who gave second chances, who bit back hurtful words, or sacrificed a measure of comfort for someone else.

The second thing that happened, is that I learned that no matter how much you like someone, how much you want to trust them, some people will always disappoint you for reasons you may or may not be able to understand. There was someone who I considered a true friend in BoO, who later turned around and lied – or at least lied by omission – about me to please someone else, or to not rock the boat, or for reasons I cannot even begin to wrap my brain around. It was someone I truly expected better from, and I’ve never really gotten over my disappointment or my hurt from feeling as if I was betrayed.  This was something that could have been addressed and dealt with in the immediate aftermath, but now, several months down the road, I cannot play nice and pretend it never happened. Another flaw in me, I suppose.

I guess the third thing that happened is SiB itself – it is an amazing community, full of amazing people who I am proud to call friends. It does not – at least for me – have the same feel as Lunaris did. It’s not a home, it’s not full of family. It’s more of a social club where I am honored to feel welcome and wanted and I think maybe, I’m a little more careful there because of it.  I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but it works. I am grateful for both the friendships that survived the rocky times in the past, and the new friends I’ve made since then.

Who I Am:

CURRENTLY PLAYING

Kimorah
Holy/Shadow Priest

Alliance Raiding Main

ACTIVE ALTS

Krikket - Level 88
Elemental Shaman [A]

Kayci - Level 85
Holy Paladin [A]

Koralyne - Level 85
Unholy/Blood Deathknight [A]

All Classes to 90 Progress
July 2014
M T W T F S S
« Jul    
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031  
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.